


this flame won't go out

by whatamidoingeven



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: F/F, War AU, mentions of drug use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-08 02:16:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10375608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatamidoingeven/pseuds/whatamidoingeven
Summary: Everyone has a different reason to fight. Some have something to protect. Some find something to protect. Some simply have no choice.No matter the reason, they're here, now, and need to rely on one another.





	

_ Kotori,  _

_ I am doing as well as can be expected under the circumstances. Our platoon has moved into the city we fought to control. As we caused a retreat, the location is expected to be mostly secure for the near future. Most of our excursions will be outside of the city, but we have been granted down time for the next couple days. We have not heard anything about when we will be relocated.  _

_ Kotori, I _

Umi’s pen halts as a drop of mud flicks onto the paper, followed by a rushed, “sorry!” Which Umi just barely hears as the culprit has already sprinted away.

She takes a deep breath, and returns her pen to paper.

_ apologize for the dirt stain. That is the handiwork of one of the privates who was acting too carelessly. Though I wouldn't expect anything less from the youngest member of our squad.  _

_ Kotori, I _

This time, it’s a chunk from their rations, it's indescribable gelatinous texture staining the page. 

“Oh, sorry about that, Sonoda!” 

This voice doesn't run away. Instead, she continues eating at her rations with no apparent guilt at all. Umi sighs, flicks the chunk off the paper, and continues writing. 

- _ that was another one of my squad mates. She is a glutton and a careless one at that. I'm not sure how she made it past training. Her work ethic leaves much to be desired. But at least her spirit is indomitable.  _

_ Kotori  _

Something bumps into Umi’s back, sending her pen stroke onto its own tangent.

“Woah, sorry! Just didn't see you there.” The assailant explains, not sticking around for a reprimand as she heads off to god knows where. Not that Umi would dare reprimand someone with more seniority than she, even if that person was terribly rude. And technically lower ranking. 

- _ sorry, again. That time it was the Lcpl. Ayase. Normally she isn't that distracted, but I'm sure she is fine.  _

_ Kotori, I'm  _

Umi pauses, and waits. All she hears is the normal commotion of the base- people shouting, the roar of trucks, but nothing out of the ordinary. She starts to write again.

_ missing you every day. I say this in every letter, but I mean it. I love you, and I  _

“Writing again, Sonoda?” 

Umi’s pen stops, and the pause allows the ink to bleed into the spot it’s held. She has to restrain her hand from crumpling the paper as well, which she would do at this point if her writing supplies were less limited. 

Instead, she turns to the interrupting voice, “Yes, as I always do when we have a minute of down time, Nishikino.” 

The medic crosses her arms. “No need to be so defensive. It was just a question.” 

“I'm not being defensive.” Umi says sternly. “I'm just trying to finish this letter.” 

“Sure, sure.” Nishikino lights a cigarette, and takes a drag. “Don't you ever get tired of it, though? Surely there's something better you could be doing with your time.” 

“No.” 

“Hm.” 

The conversation dies as the pair fall into silence. Nishikino takes a seat on the floor next to Umi and focuses on her cigarette, and Umi begins writing once more.

_ I cannot wait until I see you again. The day can't come soon enough; however, I know we have a job to do here and I don't intend to fulfill my duties poorly. I hope you can understand that- but I know that you do because you are intelligent, and empathetic, and beautiful, and  _

“You alright there?” Nishikino asks, and another ink stain blots the paper. “You're looking pretty red.”

“I'm f-fine.” Umi stutters out, only now aware of the heat spreading across her face. 

A wolf-whistle comes from Umi’s right side, as another joins their impromptu social circle. “I'm not sure what kind of letter you're writing, but it must be pretty steamy if you're looking like that.” 

“Kousaka. That is highly inappropriate-”

Kousaka just laughs, and plops herself down next to Nishikino, who scoots to the side to put a few inches between them. “I swear, I only ever see you get that flustered when you're writing your girl. Well, except that one time Ayase took us to that club and-”

“ _ Kousaka.”  _ Umi’s face drops, and she gives the private a glare. Kousaka raises her hands. 

“Alright, alright. I'll stop. Say, Nishikino, did you see where…”

When Kousaka starts her conversation with Nishikino, Umi scrambles to finish up her letter. 

_ I could write what I love about you for years, Kotori, but I would rather say it to your face. I look forward to the day when I finally can.  _

_ I love you.  _

_ With all of my love, Sonoda Umi  _

_ P.S. If I don't die at the enemies hands, surely the incompetence of my squad-mates will result in my demise.  _

* * *

 

She can't read the street names, but it doesn't matter. A bar is a bar is a bar and it's the same everywhere, always identifiable by the distinct low lighting and the stale air. 

Ayase Eli has been in more countries, and more bars than she can bother to remember at this point.

Heads turn once she steps inside this one, located in the city center. It's not unusual to see soldiers populating the local watering holes, but it is unusual when they are in combat uniform, and it's the middle of the day. 

It also doesn’t help that she looks unlike any of the other people from the base. 

She steps up to the bar, and an old, bald man on the other side slides to meet her. 

“I’m looking for something, and someone told me you knew where to find it.”

The man looks at her, and mumbles something Eli can't hear. 

“What is it? I can't hear you and I don't have all day.”

The man continues to mumble, not any louder but Eli catches enough to realize that he's speaking a language she doesn't know any of. He probably hasn't understood a single word she's said. Unsurprising as Japanese fluency isn't common outside the country itself, but she still has to try.

Eli opens her mouth to speak but before she can get a word out another man, younger, walks to the old bartender’s side and starts yelling at her in the same language the older man used. 

Whatever insults he hurls fall flat- Eli doesn’t comprehend a word of it. But she catches enough to understand similar phonic tones, and the occasional word that shares a pronunciation makes her chance it. 

“[I don't mean to insult. I am only looking for something.]” 

The man stops mid-sentence. “[You- you speak Russian?]”

“[Yes. Now, can you help me find what I'm looking for?]” she asks, and taps her foot, impatient. 

The man deliberates. The older man glances between them. 

“[What for me? Why?]” His Russian is broken but the point gets across. 

“[Money. I have plenty.]”

He strokes his chin, “[What do you look for?]”

“[Benz. Philo. Whatever you know it as.]”

The man stills. He drops his head closer to the bar, and closer to Eli. “[I don't. But I know someone who may.]”

Leaning back, he takes a napkin from a stack, and pulls a pencil out of his pocket. He scribbles an address, as well as a crude map from the bar and slides it to Eli. 

She takes it, and tucks it neatly into the breast pocket of her combat uniform, dropping a small pile of cash on the bar top in exchange. “[Thank you.]”. 

He nods at her, and she takes her leave.

According to the scribbles, the spot isn't far from where the bar is, though it takes her some scavenging to find it. 

The building is unimpressive, remarkable only in that it is still standing despite massive damage, which Eli can only guess was sustained during one of the many sieges of the city. When she reaches the front door, Eli knocks as a courtesy.

It creaks open under her knuckle, and when there’s no response to her initial knock, Eli steps inside. She’s greeted by a hallway just as beat up as the outside of the building. 

Not looking to waste any time, she heads towards a room at the end of the hall. 

There's a cloth hanging over the door there, and her instinct forces her to pause- there’s no telling what's on the other side. And she didn't bring a gun. Stupid choice, really. 

She breathes, and another voice breaks her out of the trance. The words are in the native language, but it sounds welcoming, or welcoming enough for her to make her way inside.

Inside is a small room, a table in the center is designed to draw attention but the walls, stacked floor to ceiling with shelves, are what catch Eli’s interest. Various trinkets fill them- things like a raccoon statue, a teapot shaped like a pig, a microphone. Eli studies the collection passively while she waits for anyone to assist her. 

Something catches her eye- a pear-shaped wooden doll. She can't stop herself before she picks it up and rips it open. 

Another, smaller doll sits within it. Eli decides she can safely assume the pattern continues until a ridiculously small doll is revealed, and she sets the toy back onto the shelf with a smile. 

The shelf rattles shortly after, and Eli turns to the source. 

What greets her isn't at all what she expects and she tries hard to steel her gaze and not make her stare obvious, though the woman in front of her is perhaps the most attractive one Eli has ever seen. Certainly since she’s been at war, at least.

“H-hello.” Eli stutters and curses herself. Her pseudo composure didn't even last a word. 

The woman doesn’t say anything and it dawns on Eli that she probably doesn't know Japanese and before Eli can stop herself she adds “S-sorry.”

That's it, it's time to leave, Eli decides, but before she can turn back and exit the room forever the woman giggles, and she's smiling and, oh no, she's cute too. 

“What are you apologizing for?” The woman asks in flawless Japanese. 

Eli can barely even move. “W-what? You speak Japanese?” 

“It would be a shame if I couldn't,” she moves to sit on one side the table, and says with a grin “considering I grew up in Japan.”

“Oh.” And it's really all the vocabulary Eli has access to at the moment. 

The woman interlaces her fingers, leans her elbows against the table while she rests her chin atop her connected hands. She's still grinning when she asks, “So, what are you here for? I would assume it's not to ask about my life, though I could be wrong about that.” 

“Oh, uh, um.” Eli fidgets, and shuffles her feet. 

“Are you usually this eloquent, lance corporal?” 

Eli steps back, “What- how did you-” 

The woman points to Eli’s arm, where her rank is clearly displayed, and Eli lets out a strangled noise as she's sure she's coming off as the biggest idiot on the continent. 

Still, it's impressive that this woman would even know the ranking symbols-

“I have had a fair share of soldiers visit. These are just the sort of things you pick up on through exposure.” The woman explains and Eli wants to ask how she knows exactly what she’s thinking, but she’s not sure she wants to know, either.  

“Teasing aside, you never answered my question.”

“Oh, right. I-” Eli taps one of her boots on the floor. She did come here for a reason that wasn't ogling a gorgeous woman. “I was told by one of the locals that you might have something I want.”

The woman's expression turns serious, “I have many things to offer. You'll have to be more specific.” 

Seriousness doesn't suit her and it makes Eli anxious. Subtlety goes out the window. “I'm looking for a Benz inhaler. Or pills.” 

The woman leans forward as if it would make her get closer to Eli, who still stands a distance away. “You mean..?”

“Uppers. Yeah.” Eli taps her foot faster. It dawns on her that the bartender probably didn't know what she was even asking for. No one who sells this stuff would act so ignorant. Hell, the guy probably just sent her this way so she'd get out of his bar and this woman is probably the only Japanese speaker in the goddamn city that isn't with the military. The irritation starts to grind on Eli when the woman finally speaks again. 

“I'm afraid I don't carry that sort of thing. I'm not that type of healer.” 

Healer? What the fuck does that even mean? Eli's confusion grinds on her, adds to the heat quickly coming to a boil. “Then you must know someone around here who does.” 

“I don't.” 

“Then why was I sent here?”

“I can't answer that.” 

“Do you have any answers, or are you just incompetent in general?”

The woman stills, and the silence forces Eli to decompress and reflect. She has to restrain herself from walking up to the wall and smashing her skull against it. Insulting her wasn't Eli’s intention- she hadn’t even been thinking that. The woman probably has no more ideas about these things than Eli does. 

After what feels like years, the woman smirks- and Eli braces herself for what she is sure will follow-

“What is your name?” 

“Huh?”

“I asked for your name.” 

Eli is speechless. Of all the ways she expected to be asked to leave the premises, this isn’t one of them. 

“It’s- Ayase. Ayase Eli.”

If anything, the woman’s smile gets a little brighter. “Lance Corporal Ayase-san. It’s nice to meet you.”

“What- what do you…” Eli trails off, not even sure where to start her next line of questioning. It doesn’t seem to phase the woman. 

Instead, she shuffles a deck of cards in front of her, her hand eventually hovering over one before she chooses it with a hum. 

“There is an infinite amount of things I don’t know. But I do know some things.” She lifts the card in front of her, the back of it showing to Eli, “The first, is that I am Toujou Nozomi. The second, is that I was destined to meet you here. And the third…”

She flips the card towards Eli. It’s design is not one Eli recognizes, with a giant wheel in the center and the roman numeral X on the top. 

“...This will not be the last time we meet.”

* * *

 

“Whoa, look at this!” 

Rin stops at a shop window, drawing a groan from Sonoda while Kousaka joins her in excitement. “It’s super cute! Are you going to get it?”

“Hm,” Rin scratches her chin. “Nope, I don’t think so. I don’t think she’d like it.”

Sonoda trudges over, “A ceramic pig? I don’t know who ‘she’ is, but who would want that?” 

“Hey, pigs are cute!” Kousaka defends as she whirls around, “Doesn’t your girlfriend love animals?” 

“I-Well-” Sonoda stutters, “-I don’t remember telling you about that! How would you-” 

“Ooh, this is perfect!” Rin says as she shuffles to the next storefront, tuning out the argument behind her. 

Kousaka and Sonoda are always like that, so it’s no use worrying about them. Besides, Rin’s on a time crunch, and the souvenir in front of her is perfect. 

A woman, old and hunched over, emerges from the store. She nods with a small smile towards Rin, and Rin gestures excitedly towards the the small crystal model of a bowl of rice immediately inside the store’s front window. 

“This is amazing! Can I buy this?”

Rin’s expression drops as the woman shrinks back, all fronts of kindness replaced by a face that reflects terror and Rin isn’t sure what to do or what’s next or- 

A very familiar voice shouts something in a somewhat familiar language from behind Rin, and it seems to calm the woman a bit. A hand comes to rest on Rin’s shoulder. She doesn’t need to turn around to know whose it is. 

The voice continues, what she’s saying far beyond Rin’s comprehension. The woman takes a minute to understand, too- it isn’t her native language, but soon she’s smiling past Rin, through Rin, at Ayase.

The woman shuffles back into the store, beckoning Rin to follow. She does, with Ayase trailing close behind.

“Oh, Ayase, are you planning on buying anything?” Rin knows the answer, but she has to say something that isn’t what her gut is telling her to. 

“No, just thought I might be of some help translating if you need it.” Because, as usual, Rin can't take care of anything herself. 

“Right!  Thanks for that, by the way!” Rin responds, hoping her gratefulness doesn't come off as forced as it feels. 

The exchange at the desk goes well- the woman takes Rin’s money, returning a few coins, and wraps the model up neatly in a plain brown bag. 

Despite the small bout of anxiety, Rin can’t contain her smile as she walks out of the store. It really is a perfect gift; well, perfect for at least one person, anyway. 

“There you two are! What were you doing, just wondering off?"

The stern tone could belong to no one else but Sonoda, and it wipes the smile off of Rin’s face. “U-um, I was shopping?”

“Relax, Sonoda.” Nishikino says, standing besides Sonoda as she brings the remaining half of her cigarette up to her lips. She takes a drag, bringing it back down as she exhales and says, “I thought we were able to take it easy today.” 

“Taking it easy doesn’t mean letting your guard down.”

“Actually, that’s exactly what it means.” 

Laughter resounds in the small group, drawing more than a few stares from townspeople. A gang of military women in this shell of a city was enough of an attention magnet itself. Let alone a loud gang.

It provides enough cover for Rin to dodge answering the question, as she clutches the small brown bag tightly to her side, and forces an even tighter smile back onto her face before she joins them.

* * *

 

“Hey, Nishikino- whatcha reading?” 

Maki’s eyes don’t leave the newspaper. Instead, she turns another page. “None of your business.” 

“Hm.” Kousaka says, bending down to read the name on the front. “The Troop Times? You read that?” 

“Someone has to.” Maki answers, puffing out smoke. 

“I don’t think so, but okay.” Kousaka replies, plopping down on the floor next to the supply carton Maki currently sits on top of. Taking up Maki’s space. 

She could bring it up, but it wouldn’t do anything- Kousaka is who she is. And she’s someone who won’t listen to anything if it isn’t an order. So long as there’s no threat of physical training as a punishment, Kousaka will do what she wants. 

Maki rifles through the last few pages- there’s nothing in the publication that’s of much interest. Most of it’s motivational propaganda, and everything else, she’s already heard from the lances days before. 

It’s when she gets to the last page that something catches her eyes. 

“‘Get ready to smile. Miss Nico Nico Nii is here to cheer you on!’” She reads. “What the hell does that mean? I don’t get it.” 

“Hm? You ask something?” 

“Er-” She hadn’t meant to read aloud. “no. You’re hearing things, Kousaka.” 

“Ah, damn it, not again.” Kousaka grumbles, sulking against the supply carton and visibly moping. 

Maki smiles to herself. She’s an idiot, but she’s got heart, which is more than Maki can say for majority of the soldiers she’s met with here. 

Her cigarette reaches it’s end as she looks back down at the advertisement. She has a distant memory of something similar happening before- some washed up singer had come to 'raise morale', though that was back when they were stationed safely in allied territory. Why would they send someone here? They had just managed to secure the city's borders. It’s an overconfident move, even for the army. 

Maki hears the footsteps before she sees the boots, and, recognizing the cadence, rips the advertisement out and shoves it into her pocket before looking up into the eyes of Corporal Sonoda.    


“Nishikino. Kousaka.” Maki slowly rises to her feet, while Kousaka scrambles to hers. 

“We’ve been given an assignment. We’ll be moving at 1400 this afternoon for a basic sweep of the area surrounding the city. We will return to base after the sweep is complete. Understood?”

“Yes, Corporal.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

Sonoda shoots a glare towards Kousaka at that, before she turns on her heels and walks off. 

“Yeesh. She’s scary sometimes, huh?” 

Maki just shrugs. It’s not really at the top of her mind. They have an assignment now. 

And she has questions about a certain flier in her pocket.

* * *

Loud birds chirp in the distance, in chorus with the brush of shifting wild grass around her and under her feet. 

It’s mid-afternoon. The sun is beginning to die off, and the rumble of artillery is a safe distance away, as it has been their platoon’s entire stay in this city, an ever present white noise that is easy enough for Honoka to tune out. She’d been listening to it for the past three months, in different cities, bases, the countryside. It was the one thing that remained constant.  

She makes her way over a small hill, dotted with native wildflowers. Several pairs of footsteps follow- all five in their fire squad out for this assignment, though they’ve needed approximately zero of them thus far. Still, Honoka's aware enough to know that she would rather have all of them by her side than to be here alone. 

Even if their sweep had turned up approximately nothing of interest thus far. 

She sighs. The town they’re stationed in has hot foods, beds to sleep on, working showers, fresh bread… it’s everything she’d dreamed of when they made their initial advancement and eventual takeover of the city. It had been a grueling few weeks, hunger and exhaustion echoing with every step, but all of their energy focused on the mission in front of them, on advancing and avoiding death.

  
Sonoda had assured her that it wasn’t actually that bad- that she was just out of shape. Honoka frowns at the memory. Sure, just because she was fresh out of basic and hadn’t made sweet love to the tactics and lifestyle of the Japanese army meant that there was something wrong with her. Right. 

“Kousaka.” Speak of the devil, the voice comes from over her right shoulder. She turns to face her.

“Corporal, I’m here.” 

“You and I will flank left and search from there. Ayase and Hoshizora will take the right. Nishikino, stay with me.” 

Honoka has next to no idea what Sonoda is referring to, before she turns around and sees it- a small settlement, a few clusters of buildings of varying size, with farm equipment resting against the walls of the one nearest to them. No smoke, no livestock, no noise- it shows every sign of being abandoned. 

Well, it’s something, which is better than walking around aimlessly, Honoka decides, stepping toward the red-bricked building immediately on the left as Ayase and Hoshizora split right.

The sound of her boots thumping against the concrete fills the building’s main room, echoes off the brick walls in some makeshift symphonic movement. The place is nearly empty, sans a few piles of hay scattered about. Sonoda’s footsteps are the next to enter, followed by the slower pace of Nishikino. 

Honoka scans the room once, but there's nothing of note, and she heads for a door at the back. It opens with little resistance, and the room beyond is surprisingly well-lit: windows on the wall across from her illuminate the work space, complete with a desk, a sawhorse, a work bench, and various tools hung onto the wall. 

There’s something there that’s just tantalizing enough to get Honoka’s interest- an armament box for a rifle, set perfectly on the desk right in front of her, under the window. 

No sense letting it go to waste, Honoka decides, stepping towards it and-

“Kousaka! Watch out!” 

A tug at her collar chokes her as she’s pulled back forcefully, falling to the ground and reeling. Standing over her is Sonoda.

“What the hell is your problem?!”

“Are you even paying attention? Your carelessness could have gotten you injured- or worse.” 

“I was just going for the weapon!”

“Exactly! You didn’t even look at your surroundings! This is obviously a set-up for a trap!” 

“What are you-” Honoka starts, but promptly stops when Sonoda sticks her bayonet into a pile of hay that Honoka had failed to notice, stacked immediately in front of the desk. 

Sonoda digs the bayonet in a bit, shoveling hay to the sides and revealing missing concrete. In it's place is a crudely dug hole, filled with rusty and broken bayonets, sharpened tips pointing upwards.

She follows that up by using the butt of her rifle to reach the contents on the desk, knocking them down into the trap pit. The armament box opens the second it hits the ground, revealing...nothing. 

“You see? You could have easily gotten an infection from these and lost a leg! Because you failed to pay attention!” 

Honoka rubs the back of her head. Sonoda’s tone is grating, but she’s right. Like always.

“I’m sorry, corporal.” 

“I don’t care for your apologies. I care for your life.” Sonoda says as she turns her back to Honoka, facing the wall. “Even with your glaring faults, I need you here. Not in a hospital. Or-” 

Sonoda stiffens. Honoka notices her chest rise and fall much slower than before, her shoulders mirroring the movements of the organs underneath.

“So, what does this mean?”

Honoka half forgot Nishikino was here, but she is, standing and smoking in the doorway. “Corporal?”

Sonoda’s shoulders drop again, back to normal, back to business, and she turns to face them properly before she responds,

“It means whoever was stationed here knew we'd be coming." 

**Author's Note:**

> This war they are in is not based on any historical war in real life; mostly because I didn't want to minimize the millions of people who have died in real wars over the years just for the sake of my desire to stick gay anime idols in that setting. It also takes place in an AU 50's where being gay is cool and not a big deal and gay marriage is legal and also women are allowed to serve in the military in combat roles?? Don't think too much about it. 
> 
> Also, disclaimer: don't form a drug habit and then join the Japanese army in hopes of finding a hot lesbian healer. I don't condone this and also it probably won't happen.


End file.
